Dr. Blog or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love My Own Pretentiousness


A figure in a smoking jacket sits in an oversized armchair, next to a roaring fire. He is smoking a pipe, and writing in a journal. He looks up, and with a half-surprised, half-knowing smile, speaks directly to the camera.


Well, hello! I didn’t see you there. Sit down, make yourself comfortable. So, what made you click the link I put up? Could be you’re curious to see whether I have anything worth saying at length. Maybe you’re actually interested in what I think. Perhaps you’re a deranged stalker, and understanding me brings you one step closer to wearing my skin to graduation (less than 9 weeks left, you’re working on a tight deadline). Or mayhap you’re just here for the irreverent tangents.

Likely you know me well enough to not be surprised that I’m gonna have to immediately call myself out on this. On the one hand, blogs are pretty much just look-at-me-narcissism, and the internet’s endless barrage of links and ‘likes’ and comments and notifications and emails builds up an unrealistic image of how important we are. And we already have a twisted view of our own importance thanks to tv, but that’s another post entirely… Having said that, the internet also connects us to so many people we’d never encounter otherwise, that there is absolutely guaranteed to be someone interested in what you have to say, and how you say it. Guaranteed.

Anyway, while id, ego and super-ego battle it out in the previous paragraph, let’s move on. From time to time, I’ll have thoughts or rants longer than 140 characters in length, that can’t fit in to a tiny little comment box on facebook. So this is what this is for. Also, I’m going to use this as a way of teaching some math and programming. I’ve said for years that no one is inherently bad at math, and almost all the blame is with teachers who don’t have the time or resources to tailor their teaching methods to individual students. So I’m gonna put my money where my mouth is. (Figuratively, because most notes are covered in cocaine and/or poop. That is not a game of Russian Roulette I’m interested in playing).

I’m gonna be doing something called Project Euler. It has a series of math problems, which you’re supposed to solve by writing code. And if you’ve ever been interested in programming, but never got round to it, this is a perfect place to start. Project Euler is ideal for teaching, because:

  • Every answer can be found by brute-force… eventually. But the aim is to have your code do it in under a minute. That is where grace and elegance and mathematical beauty come in (and that’ll make a whole series of posts too…)
  • There’s multiple ways of solving each problem, so it encourages creative thinking.
  • With each problem you do, you’ll build up a library of programming tricks and constructs that will come in handy elsewhere.
  • It is actually really fun. And the satisfaction of getting the right answer is a wee bit addictive.

I think that’ll be the core of my posts here, but even if you don’t want to try it yourself, I encourage you to read along for the first few entries. I dunno about you, but I get a kick out of reading through other people’s problem-solving processes. Even a second-hand spark of comprehension gives a nice little brain-hug. Interspersed will be posts on (hopefully) a wide range of topics like philosophy, the media, and funny-third-thing. Maybe even a bit about love and music (I say ‘maybe’ as talking about love and music is like dancing about architecture. Shit is gonna get lost in translation).

Also, I make the following promise: I will never post a sepia-toned picture of a sandwich I’ve eaten, nor will I put up pictures of rivers with quotes from famous people over the top. So there.

Anyway, stick around. It’ll be pretentious, but interesting. Strikes and gutters, swings and roundabouts, yin and yang.

CAMERA ZOOMS OUT OF the words ‘yin and yang.’ PANS ACROSS THE DRAWING ROOM, SETTLES ON a bookshelf. ZOOMS IN ON ‘Scriptwriting for Dummies’.



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3 Responses to Dr. Blog or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love My Own Pretentiousness

  1. sj says:

    Wait, wait, wait. No food pictures?

    I’m out.

  2. coreykpunches says:

    I figured he’d at least mention BOC, geesh 😉

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